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Red Onearrives with a lot of bad press. Every movie Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson makes with the word “red” in them has been tracked for being a bloated mess. The superstar madeRed Noticein 2021 with Ryan Reynolds and Gal Gadot, which was a lot more fun than many give it credit for. For all its faults, that film eventually found a sweet spot for genre audiences to enjoy.
Now, Johnson is back withRed One, which is so relentlessly lackluster and uninspired that I wondered if it was a cruel holiday prank meant to ruin our Christmas spirit.Red Oneis like his family filmTooth Fairyon steroids and off its Ritalin. The film has the same endless “knock the one-liners” out-of-the-park energy as the film has a laugh track.
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Red OneReview and Synopsis
It’s a tale as old as time. You know the kind—the one where Santa Claus’s head of security, Callum Drift (Johnson), tells Saint Nick that he plans to retire after one last holiday run. The joy of helping secure gifts for the world’s best children has faded. Which is mainly due to the growth of the “naughty list,” which has overwhelmed the spirit of the job he once loved.
However, things are about to get much worse. On the eve of the greatest holiday the world has ever known, a team breaks through North Pole security to kidnap the big “SC.” Drift notifies Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu) of the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority. During their investigation, they identified a suspect named Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), a mercenary hacker who managed to locate the North Pole.
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Red OneLacks Holiday Joy
I mean, it’s in the name, so he can’t be that brilliant, but I digress. Now, with the tables—or perhaps the wrapping station—turned, O’Malley is forced to help Drift find Saint Nick, claiming he can locate anything in the world. With his help and Drift’s last stand before retirement, the world’s holiday spirit’s fate hangs in the balance.
Yes, as Simmons recently said onThe Rich Eisen Show, this is the ultimate thirteen-year-old boy movie. However, the film lacks original holiday joy; writer Chris Morgan (Shazam! Fury of the Gods) and director Jake Kasdan (Zero Effect) seem to forget that this demographic knows a pile of coal when they see one.
No matter how much you dress it up, it’s still coal stuffed in a giant sock you use once a year and serves no other purpose. Or, in other words, stillHobbs & Shaw, but now dressed up as holiday fare.
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IsRed OneWorth Watching?
Red Oneis quite the metaphor for the film industry, with the subtext of being dissolution with the “naughty” people of the world. It is as if they tell the viewers they should be grateful for such holiday fare—a take-it-or-leave-it attitude as if the audience has no choice. The film is lazy, lacks inspiration, and is blatantly manipulative by the end, and you’d think it was a Hallmark movie.
You would hope an intention of mashing upThe Fast and the Furiousmeets any holiday movie where someone tries to save Christmas would be a lot more fun. However, the special effects are overdone. The comedy is regurgitated and forced. The film has no idea how to marry the talents with its big budget, which is shocking for a director like Kasdan to have so much success with the rebootedJumanjifranchise.
That is too bad becauseRed Onecould have been some mindless (but ultimately useless) holiday fun, but instead, it ruins our holiday spirit.
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You can watch Red One only in theaters on November 15th.
Red One Review — The Rock Delivers a Lump of Coal
M.N. Miller
Film & Television Critic
Articles Published :336
M.N. Miller is a film and television critic and a proud member of the Las Vegas Film Critic Society, Critics Choice Association, and a 🍅 Rotten Tomatoes/Tomato meter approved. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree from Mansfield University and a Master’s from Chamberlain University. However, he still puts on his pants one leg at a time, and that’s when he usually stumbles over. When not writing about film or television, he patiently waits for the next Pearl Jam album and chooses to pass the time by scratching his wife’s back on Sunday afternoons while she watches endless reruns of California Dreams. M.N. Miller was proclaimed the smartest reviewer alive by actor Jason Isaacs but chose to ignore his obvious sarcasm. You can also find his work on Hidden Remote, InSession Film, Ready Steady Cut, Geek Vibes Nation, and Nerd Alert.
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