WhenBaldur’s Gate 3came out in 2023, it easily cemented itself asGame of the Yearand one of the best games centered aroundDungeons and Dragonsof all time. The characters, stories, gameplay, and even the themes are all masterfully done, to where the constant 10/10 reviews were definitely not by coincidence.
One of the most prominent themes in the game is about theCycle of Abuse, regardless of what the relationship looks like. One could argue that all the characters have the cycle of abuse as one of the central concepts, but most point toAstarionin particular as the prominent example.
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Astarion was a slave for two centuries, which moulded him into a morally grey character, one who could repeat Cazador’s mistakes or break free entirely.Neil Newbon did a fantastic job with the performance, but it caused one crucial detail to be overlooked.
In fact, Astarion ended up casting a large shadow over another character who, arguably, is more fitting to the themes surrounding the cycle of abuse:The Dark Urge.
This article contains spoilers for Baldur’s Gate and The Dark Urge storyline.
What Exactly is the Cycle of Abuse?
What Does it Have to Do With BG3?
Before we start, let’s clarify the concept so everything is clear. The Cycle of Abuse (also known as theCycle of Violence) is a social theory that details patterns of behavior in abusive relationships. It’s not exclusive to romantic relationships, either, as this cycle can happen among family dynamics, friendships, and anyone that you could form an unhealthy relationship with.
In families in particular, this is also referred to asGenerational Trauma, as this abuse can be passed down to children, repeated in future generations without learning from the issues. So, by the time these adult children end up in relationships of their own, they’re often abusive, but they’re now the perpetrator rather than the victim.
It’s a vicious circle, an Ouroboros of violence that’s constantly devouring its own tail. Many victims tend not to realise they’re following in the footsteps of their aggressor, and unless they break free from that cycle and heal, that’s exactly how they’ll end up.
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Almost every single character that you encounter in Baldur’s Gate 3 (at least your party members) is trapped in some type of cycle of abuse. It could be spiritual abuse, stemming from religion and false promises, it could be coercion and control, forcing these characters into impossible choices in order to prove their isolation – or it could be something else entirely.
However, The Dark Urge’s cycle isn’t as glaringly obvious upon your first playthrough, it’s just a mystery. All that you know is that your character wants toindulge in evil, to bathe in blood and construct piles of corpses, made by your own hand. It’s not until you get to Act III and learn the truth about yourself that you realise that this cycle suddenly runs significantly deeper.
The truth in question is that you’re aBhaalspawn, born from a corpse and raised in a bloody temple, forced to live a life of pure murder. The violence and evil is literally in your blood, and there’s a new, clinging fear upon that realization: can you even escape this cycle at all?
What Makes The Dark Urge More Fitting?
Bhaal is the Pinpoint of Generational Trauma
One key thing to keep in mind: when you’re trapped in a cycle of abuse, acknowledging that it’s abusive is just as difficult as escaping the situation altogether. This is even harder to do when family, especially parents, are involved in the matter – and as someone who has gone no contact with her parents to break that cycle, that acknowledgment is one of the hardest realizations you could have.
So, why not Astarion? While he is for sure the primary example that the game centers on (especially since you can’t have The Dark Urge in your party, only if you play it), he was well aware that he was abused the whole time. He doesn’t deny it or try to fight any evil desires that he has, requiring outside help to realize he’s even on that path.
The Dark Urge (also referred to as Durge), on the other hand, only wanted to please their father. It just so happens that their father is the Lord of Murder, forcing them to act on evil actions rather than have a choice in the matter. It’s not that you don’t attempt to fight against your evil desires, it’s that, in most cases, youcan’t.
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Simply put, Bhaal and his Bhaalspawn are a story of Generational Trauma all the way down to the letter, a type of trauma that is expected to be repeated and continued in order to please Bhaal. Every single Bhaalspawn is competing for Bhaal’s approval, to be his Chosen (the one who contributes most to him).
That’s not an exaggeration, either. If you play as The Dark Urge upon entering the Murder Tribunal, you have the option to not even fight Sarevok, as he’ll task you with killing Orin, his own granddaughter, instead. Upon doing just that, he flips and betrays you, saying that it’s now easier to become Bhaal’s Chosen with Orin out of the way.
Sure, you could argue that The Dark Urge has a choice when it comes to repeating the cycle – they could break free and redeem themselves, or embrace their Urges and let the cycle start anew again. However, there’s more nuance in that choice, often resulting in detrimental outcomes that are more than just being embraced or redeemed.
How Does it All Fit Together?
There’s Power in Your Environment
For those who play a Redeemed Durge, players will be quick to notice how literally every single friend and family member that you reconnect with tries to advocate for you to return to Bhaal, to continue to kill as his Chosen. Characters like Gortash, who aren’t even related to you, even try to convince you to go back.
Each and every time, I would get vivid flashbacks to people telling me to reconnect with my parents. These people, who barely even know me or even my parents for that matter, are so afraid of change and confronting uncomfortable truths, that they would rather victims return to their abusers to keep the peace. Not even Bhaalspawn are safe from the nagging, it seems.
Not to mention, the effects of abuse linger, manifesting itself in other relationships and potentially even sabotaging them. The urges that you have to resist throughout the entire game are an excellent metaphor for these manifestations: the desire to hurt, to self-destruct and to take everything with you.
Even escaping Bhaal doesn’t mean an escape from the abuse. If the player loses the duel with Orin, Bhaal doesn’t just denounce you, he curses you. Once you’re free of your tadpole, you’ll become a mindless slave to murder, to the very urges that you spent the game running from. Let me tell you, that ending is absolutely harrowing, and I’m glad that I had a previous save to reload back to so I could prevent myself from getting it.
Of course, that’s just one ending; depending on what players plan to do, Durge can have multiple outcomes. However, it’s more rewarding to redeem yourself and break the cycle—and, unlike Astarion, you don’t need outside help to make that change.
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